Just Give Him The Whale

A couple of months ago my husband , Chris and I went to the Asia Pacific Autism conference in Perth at the Burswood. It was a whirlwind of events, lectures, workshops, people, books, flyers and emotions all packed into three full days.

We were generously supported by my mum and dad who paid the large registration fee for us to attend to start our learning journey about our son ,Giggles , 3 who was diagnosed with Autism early that year. After 12 months of agonising waits to see specialists, heartbreaking moments of not knowing what to ask God or friends and anxious times where we held our breath as we shared with a precious few what was happening in our lives, we were given his official diagnosis in June this year.

I have decide to write because I need to share. Pure and simple. I don`t even mind or care if people read it. Its for me. Even if it may be a few family members or friends. I want to shout from the rooftops that my son is gorgeous and precious and amazing and I want him to grow up knowing he is adored and loved. I want this world to engage with him even if he doesn't engage with it.

The title of this post comes from a book that I found at the conference . Just Give Him The Whale is a book stood out to me immediately as soon as I saw the cover. My son has woken up repeatedly for the past three years desperately wanting a shell , drill piece, a fan and even the vacuum cleaner. Chris and I in those moments of desperation ( and desire to go back to bed) have found these little treasures in the middle of the night to soothe our distressed little boy. And it works. Ignoring all parenting advice from magazines, books, experts , this seemed to work. Methods of trying to encourage him to sleep and stay in bed without the need for these items were futile, long drawn out and complete failures.
When I saw this book, my heart skipped a beat. Someone understood!

The introduction in this book told this story:
Pedro, a little boy with autism, was screaming in his kindergarten classroom on the first day of school. Ms. Gomez, the principal, heard the child`s cries and walked into the room. She observed two colleagues discussing the appropriate way to deal with the situation. It appeared that Pedro had started crying because the teacher had taken away his favourite whale toy. Believing her new student would be more successful without the ``distraction`` of his favourite possession, she had decide to try and hide it from him. The teachers co -partner, a special education teacher had a different perspective on the situation. `` What do you want him to do? `` she asked her colleague. `` I want him to do his work. I want him to participate, `` answered the teacher. The special education though for a minute and replied, `` Then just give him the whale``

After the incident, the teacher, Ms Gomez started bringing Pedro photos of whales to cheer , support and connect with him.

I love this. I want Giggles teachers and caregivers to cheer , support and connect with him.
As a school teacher I have a unique position of working with children with autism as well as being an advocate for my own child. I want all schools to be like this one. To be confronted with a need to change and then making the decision to do so.

As a mother of Giggles and to a just as gorgeous daughter, Tickles ( who does not have ASD ) who packs a beautiful punch to our lives, I want to be one who is confronted with the need to change on a daily basis.

Giggles has already taught me to look through his world. He is a dreamer skipping through our realities. I have begun to discover that filling your pockets with gravel stones at a nursery is far more interesting than shopping for plants , and that sitting on a grass tree can actually be a very comfortable chair.
I have learnt that there are spinning fans EVERYWHERE we go. Even in lifts and elevators. Yes... look next time.
I also know that there will be moments when he will cry and cry and cry .... and we just wont know what to do. Here's hoping we will get better on that one
I know he will be adored. he is already cherished by my family and I know he will be celebrated for his unusual quirks . I love my sister for making him birthday cakes with pinwheels, my parents who buy him a pinwheel at a fete and my amazing husband who will sit with him for hours in the sandpit feeling the grains in his fingers. Thank you to you.
So to our little drummer boy, while the world looks on, let us dance to your music.