Lets give these gifts from God a chance

Last week I actually wrote a new blog post. It was titled, `Autism you can just f*ck off` . I wrote 20 or 30 lines of absolute rage and hatred for this condition that my beautiful boy suffers from. Then I deleted it. I had expressed my heart and sorrow and YES autism , some days you can f*ck off...

However , a leaf has turned.Today is World Autism day. I choose to use today to show that like myself there are thousands of children all born to families who love them and have autism. It does not take away my beautiful gift in my son.

Yes. My beautiful boy IS a gift. My precious gift who the day he was born opened a new chamber in my heart with his big beefy neck , chubby cheeks and his kissable soft smelling skin. He was perfect. The moment he was passed into my arms the love that enveloped me was indescribable.

Precious. My world was amazing, My family was beautiful. For 2 solid years I had the life of a stay at home mum to Giggles and Tickles. Despite the housework ( ! ) , I really LOVED it.

Then from 2 and 1/2 my sweet, content and smiling boy withdrew more. I couldn't get him to look at me properly. He seemed always drifting off. At this point I still didn't think there was anything wrong. It was just who he was.However in September 2010 my mum had one of those horribly terrifying but courageous moments in her life where she had to speak to me and Chris about her suspicions... that Giggles may have AUTISM.

We sat at the coffee table together on a Sunday evening drinking tea going over a list of potential RED flags that describe the behaviour associated with autism. My beautiful baby boy exhibited 90%. My gut told me she was right. Hopefully, please GOD NO, but I think she may be right. Following that evening and the week of crying at every quiet moment, a year of assessments and a diagnosis in 2011, Giggles recieved the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. The diagnosis was the easy part. Even when people in our live thought we were ridiculous to pursue this diagnosis and made us feel pathetic. Just a few things Id like to share with you... If you ever come across  someone like our situation I pray you will be compassionate and gentle. Here are my top tips for you to know when talking to parents who have just discovered their child has Autism. (and yes, these all have occurred to me)

1. Do not recommend a course  of vitamins. Just because your aunty`s friend took a batch for her arthritis and healed her, this does not apply to autism. There is NO cure.
2 .Do not ask if we regret vaccinating our child.
3. Do not ask if we are finished with having children now that we have a burden on our hands
4. Do not tell us you think our child seems ordinary, and no, that cant be autism. ( He is like that because of the hours of intervention spent to get this result)
5. Please continue to say hello to our child even if he wont look back at you.
6. Please do not make it your mission to "treat" my child with a short therapy session because you think you have a way of getting him to give up "that" toy. He already has over 5 therapists in his weekly schedule and you are just NOT helping.
7. Please, please just listen, with love, no condemnation . We LOVE questions. Please not unfounded advice.
8. Please refer us to good evidence based research and information. We love to learn.
9. Don`t tell me my child is just grumpy and probably needs stronger boundaries.


Our journey has been mountains and ravines of emotions, sleepless nights of a gaining a Phd in Google, days of information, trial and error and incredible successes. But TODAY is world autism day and there are incredible things happening. Children are finding ways to be unlocked and loved through early intervention and it IS making a difference. With 1 in 100 children diagnosed with autism you will probably cross paths someday , and when you do, remember that this child was someone baby once , so please give them a smile.

 And just for the record he still has beautiful chubby cheeks and kissable skin!!

Will he sit on the mat?

Back to school. For most of us. Me, Tickles and now for the first time Giggles.
One and a half weeks in and I`m flopping exhausted.

Being a Year 1 school teacher I never seem to exactly remember the absolute comatose stage I hit at this time every year. Maybe I was too comatose to remember. How would I describe it. Meeting 25 new excited faces who start Year 1 for the first time. Meeting their parents for the first time. Their grandparents. Setting in routines. Battling the crazy heat we have been having, eating their lunch. Slowing all systems down as the children learn where to go to the toilet, where to go when you need a bandaide, how to rule up , remembering to pack a hat, and of course take lessons in history, science, maths, english , computing, sport, library , art, dance, drama... the list is like a Phd in Year 1. Seriously. These gorgeous darlings really are precious how they take it in their stride and trust me completely and after 8 days I`m in love. . How can I resist when they say,

`` Please Mrs Summerfield, when do we have free play? ``
And free play they have.... louder than a road train coming down a hill with its breaks on, but sweeter than honey from a hive.

Admist this craziness I have tried to catch those special moments when my Giggles has gone to kindy for the first staggered intake.

Day 1. At 10 am I had two teacher aides asking me what I should do to stop my son from screaming because he wanted his lunchbox. His father who unknowingly just packed his recess( which was he thought was neccesary considering Giggles day stopped at 11am )
He cried because his apple wasn`t his lunchbox. Because everyone had a lunchbox and he didn`t. The lunchboxes so nicely chosen on a Big W sale in the holidays in hopefully preparing him for a smooth day.

After Day 1. Discovered Giggles teacher ( who I adore !!!! Really she is incredible and I think she should get a 6 figure sum for being responsible for forty 3 year olds on a weekly basis) requested from the school psych to have as much as aide time as possible. :(

Day 2. Giggles discovers that  he can play with playdough, paint, sand and toy plastic fans. Even more so if he sits on the mat.

I love him. Even though he may jump up and down on his lunchbox screaming because he doesn`t know to zip it closed and roll around on the mat like a watermelon. ( Yes he does both), I love it how he will laugh out loud because his teacher draws a fan on the board to get his attention. I love the fact he has his best cousin Joel, partner in kindy crime to hang out with and to swap lunches with. ( Yes they did that too)
Even though there will be many tough days that define what is his schooling experience may be, I just want to see that smile. It is priceless and I wouldn`t have him any other way.

We are yet to find ways for him to ask for help and not scream in frustration. ( A goal for Term 1 at  his autism association  kindy which he also attends two mornings a week)
But we may have tackled the wriggles our Giggles has on the mat.
Its one of these...

GROOVY I know.

Its called a  Deep Pressure Sensory Vest.
Description is as follows:

``Designed with a latex free, breathable material, this material has perforations throughout the rubberized layer of fabric, allowing them to "breath" eliminating or at least reducing the problem of over-heating. It should be noted that even though this material allows the skin to breathe, it is still recommended that you periodically check for over-heating or skin irritation. Designed to "hug" snuggly to the body, providing proprioceptive deep pressure feedback, stability and skills evenly over the area worn.``

In other words this will help Giggles to recieve sensory imput to help him to calm down. He tried one at his therapy and loved it. We are getting one. Except when it arrives Chris is going to sew spaceman springy laces and rocket ship on the front. Or Elastogirl from the Incredibles. I want Giggles to feel like he is a superhero.

Because in our eyes, he is.

Some extra photos for the week.Our Dyson vacuum cleaner broke two weeks ago. Chris ordered a new motor and spent the afternoon reassembling it. Giggles idea of heaven.

 Sweet dreams my superhero...

Family like mine...

I haven`t posted lately due to taking a break for summer holidays. In short, enjoying my time with my little family and extended family. My sister has her own blog about her 4 kids and her latest post is all about Giggles. You may read it here . All I know is that I am very very blessed to have a sister like mine in my life.